Every school year, there is one question I always dread coming back to school. “What did you do this summer”? Everytime I am asked this question, I realize that I can’t remember what I did only two months ago. Taken into deeper consideration, I couldn’t remember anything from the past three years of my life.
I barely have any pictures, or text messages from those years of my life. The only proof I have of me living is based on memories that my friends and family have.
I had time to think about what I was realizing and I remember feeling creeped out because I was waking up every morning, going to school, hanging out with my friends, working, doing all these things, and I was there physically, but mentally I was not present.
This is called Dissociation. Realizing this, I became more conscious of when I was dissociating, and how often I was dissociating, which is quite common, and I have just had to learn to live with it.
Dissociation is a type of trauma or stress response where one can be physically present, but the lights are on and nobody is home.
An article titled Dissociation by Psychology Today written by editors staff points out that “there are three main dissociative disorders. Dissociative identity disorder, dissociative amnesia, and derealization depression.”
Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) is when someone has two or more types of personalities. These different personalities are commonly described as possessive, as in it takes over. It also interrupts your sense of self awareness.
This disorder can result in memory loss, forgetting personal information, being forgetful, or you may not be able to recall a traumatic incident, or stressful time of your life. This disorder is commonly linked to Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD).
Dissociative Amnesia is a disorder where you can’t remember significant moments or facts about yourself. “This is outside of the realm of normal forgetting,” said Psychology Today.
The event that you can’t recall is most likely because it was an either traumatic or stressful event, and it is your brain’s attempt in blocking that memory or incident out.
Lastly, Derealization depression. This is when “persistent episodes of depersonalization occur- feeling a sense of unreality, detachment, or being an outside observer of one’s thoughts, feelings, sensation, or actions,” said Psychology Today.
This can also come with a weird feeling of objects seeming unreal, foggy, or visually distorted. All these experiences lead to distress though the brains attempt to block out traumatic or stressful events.
Nowadays, dissociation is common throughout teenagers because we are going through stress including school, work, sports, or other energy consuming activities.
When people are having a dissociative episode, it can look like they are daydreaming or in a strong scene or focus.
It is “an overall out-of-body experience, and an uncontrollable feeling” said Psychology Today.
Statistics on Psychology Today say that this is almost described as a feeling of “numbness.” It is also proven to give the feeling of isolation, like everything and everyone is in motion, while you are standing still.
Although this disorder is very common among teenagers, many children have also been reported to have signs of dissociation.
Children tend to be more prone to having blackouts, or “trance states,” according to psychology today. About 90 percent of children diagnosed with dissociative disorders often experienced trauma or abuse from a young age.
When they get into “trance states” they tend to become unresponsive or forget what they were doing. When children show these signs, they are commonly misinterpreted for ADHD or BPD.
Dissociation can also be a positive thing. For example, when you are doing school work, you may reach a flow state where you are locked into the task at hand, blocking out everything else that is going on around you.
The overwhelming force of dissociation can often override coping mechanisms. This makes it difficult to be able to analyze where the feeling is coming from and makes it harder to prevent an episode. Dissociation can often be assisted through therapy and medication. Therapy can help analyze the emotions and what might be causing it.
Antidepressants, mood stabilizers, or antipsychotics are often prescribed for dissociative disorders because dissociation is also a side effect of depression. Anti-anxiety medication can also help support dissociation states.
Dissociation is a common disorder, and many of these symptoms can be confused as different illnesses. Most people can go unmedicated with mild dissociation symptoms, but for others, it takes over their world.
Nicholas Grasso is one of the guidance counselors at Morgan, it was protocol for him to know about different disorders and learning disabilities to have this job. He said that, “if you are experiencing dissociation, then some good tactics for dealing with it can be grounding yourself. Look for things you can feel, touch, see, and hear. This is a good tactic to bring yourself back to the present time.”
“If students are dealing with dissociation or anything else of the sort, the guidance counselors at Morgan are always available to talk and can always help with whatever you’re dealing with,” said Grasso.
Donna Olivieri is Morgan’s therapist resource. Olivieri is familiar with dissociative disorders due to her education. It was something she had to learn about in order to get her job. Five of forty of her students have mentioned dissociation patterns within themselves.
If you have a friend with dissociative disorders, Olivieri recommends that “you don’t want to remind your friend of their past, because they are dissociating for a reason. So be a calm, peaceful, quiet presence for that person.”
Patience is also important to show towards somebody with dissociative disorders. It is common that they will share the same story multiple times, or will forget what you’ve told them and may have to explain it multiple times.
